The awkward moment when you are about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror
September 26, 2011
You can’t buy happiness but you can buy ice cream. And that’s kind of the same thing
September 12, 2011
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It’s not like a murderer will come in thinking I’m gonna kill you… Damn! She’s under a blanket
September 11, 2011
Never get jealous when you see your ex with someone else, because our parents taught us to give our used toys to the less fortunate
September 1, 2011
If you love something set it free if it comes back it’s yours if it doesn’t hunt it down and kill it
August 30, 2011
Don’t f**k with the human race
August 25, 2011
OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 5 mins 2. Die
August 25, 2011
If sex between 3 people is called a Threesome and sex between 2 people is called a twosome… Then why Handsome is still a compliment?
August 25, 2011
Mephobia – Fear of becoming so awesome that human race can’t handle it and everybody dies
August 22, 2011
