Oh darling, when you said small gift I thought you were going to unzip your pants.

August 19, 2011

If you bite my lip or neck – You better start taking your f**king clothes off. just sayin.

August 19, 2011

When life gets harder – You must have just leveled up

August 19, 2011

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question

August 19, 2011

I’m not doing shit today – Mission Accomplished

August 19, 2011

Gold fish – I swear to god when I evolve, I’m going to kill you all – Magikarp

August 19, 2011

Check your phone to see what time it is. Check again because you weren’t paying attention the first time.

August 19, 2011

Calories can not make you happy. Bitch, have you tried Nutella?

August 19, 2011

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

August 19, 2011

Good morning I see the assassins have failed – post it

August 16, 2011

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